Today I was stuck at home sitting on the couch because of back pain. I have been experiencing soreness and sometimes debilitating pain for the last few days. Whenever something like this happens I begin to reflect on what reason God may be allowing this in my life. Usually I figure I need to slow down and take it easy and probably should have done so a few days ago but I don’t usually chill out that easily. This time, I have been in the middle of a trial in my tasks around the house. I wanted to see if we could manage a “laundry day” because I am typically doing laundry every.single.day. There has been some trial and error in terms of which things can actually wait a week to get washed before we run out (kids socks and jeans cut it super close) and which things could make it two weeks (kitchen towels, depending on what they were used for in that time). This past Monday I went pretty hard trying to get 10 loads done because I have so enjoyed having the rest of the week off from this consuming chore, however I also misplaced a large amount of Christmas gifts that we had purchased a few months ago. I tore apart all 900 square feet of our home looking for them, putting things back together as I went, I wouldn’t let up even though it could have waited. I kept telling myself it could wait, but I needed to put my mind at ease. It was after 2 hours of frantic nonstop searching and right when I was about to pull down some bins from the garage rafters that I saw the box marked “Xmas 2017″…total relief, but not before I had worked myself too hard. So now as I pay for those choices I am reflected on them and how I could do things differently next time. I am sure my husband will be happy to read this, as he’s always telling me to take on less and to rest. Maybe that should be my word for 2018?
Rest. Relax my own personal deadlines, relax my ideas of what others should be accomplishing, rest with some alone time, rest with my family. Rest in the Lord and remember that He has gone ahead of me and there isn’t anything I can do that is of worth without His grace. Why wait? Why not start now…while I am forced to, but also choose to in the future when I can.
My 3 year old daughter Aurelia also happened to be not feeling 100% today, nothing in particluar but she wanted to rest next to me and have me rub her belly. We sat on the couch, she watched me crochet, we read books and we lay down together. She talked to me about all sorts of sweet nonsense and I just enjoyed her being her. It made me think about how much joy can come from rest, and even when I am doing “nothing” I am accomplishing so much. Connecting with my daughter differently today was quite something. It also gave me the idea to try to write here more and not hold myself to so many self-inflicted requirements. I didn’t start this blog for business or money or followers, I blog for myself and my family and to share life with others which means the reality of a long post with no photos to break up the chunky paragraphs of my rambling thoughts, and letting myself be open to just posting a few sentences about our day so that next year and after many years we can recall the small things that made our life what it is today that probably won’t be the same in the future. Things are always changing, which is why I called this space “Breaking New Ground” in the first place. We are always learning something new. I thought this sounded like something I could take on at the start of the new year, but realized again, why wait?