Down But Not Out

I’ve struggled with tendonitis for the last year or so (mainly a type called DeQuervains that affects the wrist and thumb). The latest flare up has kept me at limited use and in a few different braces. For 2 weeks I attempted varied remedies in search of relief so I could get back to regular life. I’m notoriously bad at resting but I was diligent at limiting how ai used my hand. Yet the pain got worse. 6 days ago my doctor put me in a new brace and instructed me to not use my hand for 10 days. I had gone in hoping for the quick relief of a cortisone injection but he warned me against that course of action as it could weaken the tendon, leading to a rupture.

I came home and broke down to Ben, totally frustrated and overwhelmed at the thought of having to figure out how to make our regular life work for the next week and a half. I can’t drive, cook, or clean. I don’t have to list all the reasons how it has limited my days, and I know it’s not the worst thing that could happen. In fact, we have been incredibly blessed in spite of it.

I have been forced to rest and let others help me. I have a hard time knowing what my own needs are or being able to ask others to help me meet them if I do know. I’ve learned this about myself over the last year studying the Enneagram (for those familiar, I am a type 2 -The Helper).

Over the last week friends + family have stepped in to help make this time easier on us, providing meals, running errands, driving us places and helping with child care. My husband has been amazing, working long hours at a fast paced job and then coming home to care for our 3 high energy + strong willed kiddos, myself, our pets and our household needs.

I’ve learned some new things; like how to use my phone and the computer with my left hand, and how to blog from my phone. Writing hasn’t been as easy so I’ve tried to continue the journal I started with voice to text in Evernote on my phone. Getting dressed one handed is getting easier (I am thankful for Lularoe leggings!), I also learned that using your non-dominant hand creates new neural pathways and can lead to mental fatigue (which explains a ton) but hey I don’t have to do dishes!

Earlier in the week I had some alone time, and it drove me crazy at first. Whenever I have kid free time I try to get as much done as possible around the house or running errands. Since I couldn’t do that and I really only watch tv socially, I did some reading, listened to podcasts while playing mindless phone games, and practiced writing with my left hand (which I totally gave up on).

All told it has been a challenging and humbling week. I am hoping that in 4 days I will be able to use my hand free of pain and back to normal function. But if that’s not the case we will prayerfully go on with whatever comes next.

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